More about Bear (& Roo) bonded

BEAR & ROO: THE GREATEST ROCK DUO YOU’VE NEVER HEARD (Until Now) BREAKING: Legendary feline rock duo seeks lifelong fans after unfair venue cancellation Meet Bear & Roo—the inseparable 2-year-old brothers whose vocal performances will change your life. Rescued from the streets of Kuwait as kittens, these rock gods were recently dropped by their management (family emergency) and are ready to sign with new fans who appreciate their unique sound. THEIR SIGNATURE STYLE: • Wall-to-wall vocal performances (think constant sold-out shows in your living room) • Perfect harmonies when snuggled together backstage (literally every time you find them) • High-energy stage presence with toys on sticks • VIP meet-and-greets the SECOND you walk in (they’ll tell you EVERYTHING about their day first) THE BEAR EXPERIENCE: Lead snuggler with surprise guitar-solo energy. Loves the spotlight AND your lap. THE ROO FACTOR: (The one with signature nose spots) Takes time building fan loyalty, then it’s pure devotion. The Pete Townshend to Bear’s Roger Daltrey—if they actually liked each other. These gentle souls prefer intimate acoustic sets on your lap over arena tours. They’ll perform their daily adventures for you, then sit quietly while you share yours. WARNING: You MUST be a fan of their musical genre. No casual listeners. TOUR RIDER: $300 (both legends), includes shots, fixed, microchipped, dewormed THEIR PROMISE: Unlike certain British brothers, they’ll never break up. Ever. Apply now before they go platinum without you.  Adoption fee: $300 for pair, includes all shots, sterilized, dewormed, deflea, microchip